Why English Is Hard To Learn (anonymous)


We'll begin with box; the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose is never called meese.


You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
The plural of man is always men,
But the plural of pan is never pen.


If I speak of a foot, and you show me two feet,
And I give you a book, would a pair be a beek?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't two booths be called beeth?


If the singular's this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be ever called keese?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him;
But imagine the feminine... she, shis, and shim!

The following links are so special that I highly recommend all of them:

I. The Amazing Cognate Poems

. . 1. The Language Revolution and A First Short Lesson

. . 2. A Cognate Fanático and A Second Short Lesson

. . 3. about Spanish In An Instante

. . 4. about Toussier's Cognate Words

II. An English Language Treat

. . 1. Why English Is Hard To Learn (anonymous)

. . 2. National Easy Language Week by Dolton Edwards

. . 3..Homework! Oh, Homework! by Jack Prelutzky

. . 4..An Ode Two the Spell Chequer

You can help me add your favorite short poems or essays or jokes about languages in general to this page. Please send comments or submissions to:

etoussier@hotmail.com

I always answer my e-mail.